Mother of the Groom

by Mary O'Bryan on September 8, 2010

I was mother of the groom several years ago and instinctively knew what to do. ‘Wear beige and be silent’. But it went further than that. The engagement time for your son can set the stage for the relationship that you have with your daughter in law (the future mother of your grandchildren). For that reason, it is worth doing right.

I waited for her mother to buy her Mother of the Bride (MOB) dress and asked what they would like me to wear. It is always best to let the MOB go first on the dress. She gets to decide if we are wearing long, short, tea length, linen, silk, crepe. MOB gets first pick on color and has the right to tell you what color, style and length she would like you to wear. Don’t assume that you get to wear what looks best on you. It is not your day but MOB’s day. In fact, try not to look better than the MOB. Remember, she will be the grandmother of those grandchildren that you want to see.

My husband is a traditionalist. He purchased copies of Emily Post and we were all directed to follow it. Little did he know that Emily Post has a long list of wedding expenses that should be paid for by the Groom. We dutifully complied.

My handwriting is awful so I offered to help her stuff the wedding invitations. I arrived at her apartment early and as I was looking at the beautiful invitations I noticed a misspelled word…Do tell her or keep quiet? Of course, I told her in the sweetest tone that the printer had obviously made a mistake. She called and the invitations were reprinted within days.

When the wedding was over she said she was thankful that I didn’t offer any ideas because it would have been hard to tell me ‘NO’. I now get to use all of those unexpressed and unused ideas on MY daughter’s wedding.

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